How Divorce Can Affect Children

by Joel Hendon⁽¹⁷⁹⁾ Red Star

http://hebronics.org/index.html

In the creation, God created man and He made these remarks:

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet (suitable, a counterpart...JHH) for him. (Genesis 2:18)

Then in verse 24, He explained His plan for these creatures:

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

This arrangement was intended as a permanent thing to endure for the life of the couple and to create an ideal arrangement for populating the earth. The man and the woman were even given characteristics which form the best environment for children to live and grow. For a couple to be as God intended, loving, caring, responsible as well as obedient to Him, creates an exemplary setting for children. If it were not for ungodly external exposures, this would produce well balanced and obedient offspring.

But even as Adam and Eve failed to live obedient lives before God, so have all others

There are many things which are seldom considered about children. They not only need desperately the presence and guidance of Godly parents, they want such and crave to have them. According to a number of psychiatrists, children subconsciously desire guidance even in disciplinary methods as long as it is given through love and moderation.

But in addition to discipline, they need exposure to the nature of a man as well as a woman. If a child skins his knee and comes crying to his father who tells him gently not to cry, and that he is a big fellow now...this is well. If he goes to his mother still crying, she is likely to take him in her arms and gently console him and also tenderly clean and dress the wound. This fulfills a child's observation and learning the differences in his parents and he learns to respect and appreciate both the strength of his father and the tenderness of his mother. They need both.

A child so treated, unless overly exposed to outside the home undesirable influences, will most likely grow into a good and moral citizen, who in turn is likely to raise Godly children.

Many say, oh, it doesn't hurt children to be raised by one parent. Let's see what some of the statistics say.

Among children raised without a father

(1) Among long-term prison inmates, 70% grew up without a father, as did 60% of rapists and 75% of adolescents charged with murder.

(2) Fatherless children are 3 times more likely to fail at school, require psychiatric treatment, and commit suicide before the age of 18.

(3) They are also 40 times more likely to experience child abuse than children in 2-parent homes (due to increased stress on the mother and increased time left with other relatives or friends).

Effects caused by a divorce

(1) 63% show some sort of psychological problem (anxiety, sadness, moodiness, phobia, and depression) to a much greater extent than children with other types of problems.

(2) 56% have poor grades or a significant drop in grades compared to before-divorce figures.

(3) 43% show increased aggression toward parents.

These statistics should be a strong motivation for (1) a marriage to be between a man and a woman.

(1) For the strongest efforts to be exerted for a couple to live together harmoniously for the sake of the children as well as their own souls.

(2) For young people to give serious and prayerful consideration to their partner before committing themselves in marriage.

Never marry simply for sexual lusts. Size up your prospective mate to see if they will measure up to your expectations in living and raising children. And, more important than any other one thing, become a Christian and marry a Christian. Then attend church services regularly with your children. It has been proven through polls, that those children who attend church services with their parents regularly throughout their youth have a much higher chance of becoming a non-troubled adult, far less likely to become a drug addict or alcoholic, far less likely to end up in prison, and on and on.

Children are a gift from God and can make ones life exceedingly happy or exceedingly sad. Don't blow the opportunity for happiness for self and family as well as sacrificing your souls, by engaging in some worthless sinful activity. If you are old enough to marry, you are old enough to be serious about your future as well as that of your family.

This union was to be as no other such relationship upon the earth. They were to cleave together and think as one inasmuch as is humanly possible. And it includes the authorization for a sexual union that is unauthorized in any other manner or by any other persons except those bound together in matrimony. (for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God... Romans 3:23 ) and the world in which we live today has strayed so far from God that it is has become a rare thing to find a Godly household following the example explained in the Holy Writ.

Webgazine Columnist .

Article submitted Friday, March 27, 2009 & read 93 times.

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» left by Teresa Oortiz (2 years 319 days ago.)

Great job Joel. Statistics don't lie. I have been putting together an article from the point of view of a child of divorce. As you may have read, my parents divorced when I was 6 years old. Blessings to you. Great job! Teresa

» left by Anonymous (2 years 319 days ago.)

Thanks Teresa, for reading and your comment. I remember reading something you wrote concrning that. Fortunately, it did not cause you to end up as many do.

Joel

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